


List Of Jamie's Retaliations

by FanWriter



Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 12:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15774324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanWriter/pseuds/FanWriter
Summary: ''I never started it.''





	List Of Jamie's Retaliations

**Author's Note:**

> I've been saving this; thinking that I would add more but nothing is coming to me right now. I may add more later. Right now, I'm just trying to finish up my halfway-done works and post them.

You see, Joe and Danny and Erin always got in trouble because they were always initiating things. Likewise, when I retaliated, I got in trouble. So I learned early on that any retaliation on my part had to be done secretly. As a bonus, the satisfaction was all mine when I got away with it.

 

BB-BB-BB-BB-BB

On a nice, warm summer day - just after it had rained and everything was sparkling - Mom said that we were going to Mrs. McLeans to take her a pie, and to put on our rain shoes. When I put mine on, the bottoms were full of watery mud. Danny laughed and asked if I felt something squishy between my toes.

So later when I was helping Mom with lunch, I told her that I was a big boy and could pour the juice myself; which I did perfectly. When I got to Danny's glass I filled it 3/4 of the way full ... then I peed in the rest of it. He knew his juice tasted a little funny, but he just couldn't figure out why.

BB-BB-BB-BB-BB

One year, Dad took off a whole week and we went to the beach. I spent hours building the best sandcastle ever. It had turrets, a moat, a drawbridge - I even made a little alligator to go with it. Then, Danny came running past - and stampeded right through my sandcastle.

So I found a sand crab and waited until it was time to call him over for lunch. I dropped down behind him (he was too distracted flirting with Linda to notice at first; I've always liked her, she's nice) and put the sand crab right next to his butt. That way, when he rolled over to look at me it pinched his derriere. I've never heard a man's voice go to that particular octave or seen one do such a combination of jumping, running, skipping and hopping with their hands swinging that wildly violent before. Linda giggled. I just smiled.

BB-BB-BB-BB-BB

Joe, Danny and Erin wouldn't let me ''join in their reindeer games'' out in the snow one winter.

So I put their sweaters in the dryer and shrunk them. Mom thought she was going crazy, thinking she'd put them in the dryer, but I didn't tell her. Earlier, she gave everybody eggnog except for me, saying that I was too young. So by not saying anything, I let her think she was getting old. I'm pretty sure that's what Grandpa means when he says ''two birds, one stone''.

BB-BB-BB-BB-BB

''Go away, dweeb.'' That was a phrase I was familiar with being directed at me - but not by Joe; coming from him, it hurt. Granted, if I'd understood the importance of playing tonsil hockey with one's girlfriend I would have been more understanding ... but I was eight, so I didn't.

So when said girlfriend called later that night, I told her Joe was with a girl helping her with her underwear. I didn't go into detail and explain that the girl was Grandma, or that there was other clothes to be folded along with the underwear in the laundry.

BB-BB-BB-BB-BB

Danny said not to worry; that he'd catch me as I jumped into the pool. He didn't.

So when he wasn't paying attention (flirting with Linda again; I'm starting to be conflicted about that: I like Linda, and I want her to be part of the family, but living with Danny would just be torture - I would know) I untied the drawstring on his swim trunks. That way, when he hit the water after going off the diving board, the swim trunks floated off without him.


End file.
